As I'm sure you've heard, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. Even remote tribes in the Amazons know it by now. There has been a long rumor that Cruise has his wives sign a contract that in exchange for helping them with their career. They stay married to him for 5-10 years. Allegedly this is because he needs a beard to convince people he's not gay.
We all know that Cruise is a super Scientologist who can fly. This is because he is secretly a reincarnated alien that was murdered millions of years ago. Good for him for getting away Katie before his half alien daughter tore itself out of Katie's abdomen during the Oscars and ruined that lovely Dolce and Gabbana dress.
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